A World (Amusingly) At War

Who framed RR? - US v. South Africa. Or is it over already?

We skipped over an update last month for our Controlled Opposition series but here we are now. Probably in the middle of Clown Show attempts to kill them with humor. Joe Biden (Roger Rabbit) leads the Toons (US State Department) to have the US Ambassador to South Africa, Reuben Brigety (Judge Doom), to publicly accuse the nation via media of providing arms to Russia for use against the pure and noble Ukranians (aka the Toon Bullets). No consideration of conducting this conversation (playing pattycake) behind embassy doors was given five minutes. It's a farce of Warner (Wagner?) Brothers proportions.

So this all started with a Russian merchant vessel, the Lady R (Bennie the Cab), that docked in a South African port in December of last year. Apparently, ever since, Janet Yellen (the collective Toon Keystone Cops) has been trying to obtain information on what departed the port on board of this ship, purportedly to ascertain sanctions on Russia are being complied with (at least, everywhere except in Europe and the US - Toon Town).

So the predictable (and intended) events that followed included damaging all of these diplomatic relationships which was the good news part. But the real target was also hit. The rand dropped to a record low and their bonds shaved 1% the same day. Piling geopolitical risk on top of the economic one already present due to their power problems. President Ramaphosa declared that South Africa would not be pulled into “a conflict between global powers”.

Foreign Minister Naledi Pandor met with Ambassador Brigety which prompted an ambiguous word salad tweet from him and a statement from Secretary of State Blinken about clearing up any unfortunate “misunderstandings” relative to Armsgate. Pretoria responded via a statement from DIRCO that registered a formal complaint against the Ambassador and claimed he had confessed to crossing the line and apologized unreservedly to the government and people of South Africa.

This report, in addition to stating much of the above, ties together the feeling of many South Africans that the financial “graylisting” (remember that?) handed down via DC diktat was actually a preshow preview of coming attractions and thus part of this movie. As well as upcoming events such as the Russia Africa Summit, BRICS Summit, and a military cooperative training exercise of South African soldiers in Russia - arranged the week following all this dust up started - are becoming unspoken bones of American contention. Those three Little Birdies flying overhead are making Roger a little cray cray.

Then yesterday we find out that arms were indeed actually on board the Lady R (bad Benny?)! Being delivered to South Africa. Which since Russia is their biggest arms supplier is no major surprise. The surprise would be that South Africa would then turn around and ship arms back on the same ship. The Sunday Times reported all about a fully officially approved order for armour piercing shells and machine guns mountable on planes placed before the COVID pandemic. And subsequent three permit renewals because of multiple delays. So will this end the war? Or do we have to ride the roller coaster all the way to some of our characters getting “the dip”?

While I don't expect retractions or even updates we'll look at some of the other cray cray stories emanating like cartoon sunbeams about how our Roger character is really Eddie Valiant. The (serious side - or is it drunken?) of the story behind the story. <rolls eyes>

CapeTalk suggests a New Deal for South Africa, Brazil, and India to bring them back into the Western fold. Sugar plums and exploding cartoon stars might work! Otherwise described as “fairer trade deals” and “more effective development or aid schemes”. There is an apparent zero tolerance policy on asking why that has never happened before we got here. Toon Town Tunes.

The Hill can always be relied upon to be our crew of security/private detective Weasels for Judge Doom and especially Roger. This nauseating account takes weaselness to a whole new level. Ambassador Brigety (Judge Doom) is the heart and soul of honesty and discretion and would never act upon orders from Blinken (mayor of Toon Town) or Joe (Roger, but after being hit on the head with the hammer multiple times) to create this farce of a war. The ridiculous South African claim of non alignment is patently false because they didn't swear allegiance to Ukraine (Gun that shoots out the Toon Bullets). It isn't because it is(n't).

And to round out our top three, Foreign Policy penned this gem - the ANC has “forgotten” that the outside world's principled rejection of neutrality sustained the struggle against apartheid. Fairy tales aren't so much fun when those principled rejections stare back at them. Movie magic mirror, mirror on the wall.

Well cartoon characters or not, we are decidedly living in Toon Town World. Unfortunately, the poor people of South Africa, are the ones losing right now regardless of who comes out on top. Pepe Escobar tweeted out today that the G7 has decided that the Global South will be forced to comply. Looks like even though South Africa sustained some damage they may emerge victorious from this battle. I wonder how many African countries are lining up placing calls for Wagner to make a personal appearance in their neighborhood soon. Toon Town hasn't won yet. And doesn't really appear very close in the rear view mirror either. Who's next?

More to come.

Back to Part 1.